Google ‘slowest test innings’ and the name near the top of most lists is that of Willower Geoff Allott (10 tests and 31 ODIs for NZ). At the time, in 1999 v South Africa in Auckland, he batted 101 minutes and made 0 runs. He came in last to join another Willower Chris Harris, when 101 runs were needed to avoid the follow-on. Allott, defiantly, did everything he possibly could to support Harris and faced 76 balls without giving his wicket away and without scoring a run. On the 77th he was caught off the bowling of J. Kallis.
Tales of heroic defensive resistance and old- fashioned “dunny-dooring” abound in cricket. The earliest reference to a classic “stone-waller” that I could find dated back some two hundred years prior to Allott.
A certain Tom Walker (nick-named Old Everlasting) in the 1790’s is recorded as facing 170 deliveries to score one run. Opponents bemoaned that “he was a tedious fellow to bowl at and the slowest runner between wickets ever seen”. Does that remind you of anyone you ever played with? When an exasperated bowler had words to him, he merely remarked “I don’t care what ee zays” and continued to plop each delivery calmly down in front of his defensive bat. A spectator’s nightmare!
120-odd years after Tom came another of similar ilk. The obdurate batsman J.W.H.T. Douglas was christened Johnny Won’t Hit Today, a play on his initials and so named by the Australian hecklers because of his defensive batting. Mind you, the Brits got their own back in the 1960’s when the Australians toured with Ken Mackay, nicknamed Slasher, because that was exactly what he didn’t do while batting. Both were noted for their wearisome approach to batting. One report reckons that a Mackay Ashes innings of 86* was at such a dull rate that he was dropped due to public demand.
In the modern game we have been blessed with some wonderfully gifted attacking batsmen. Master-blasters like Nathan Astle, Sehwag, McCullum, Gayle, AB de Villiers and co who have all lit up the global stage.
But one of the most remarkable recent batting displays involved the last mentioned above. This was AB fighting to save a Test match and not one where he smashed the ball to all corners. It was at Delhi in 2015, 4th Test v India on a deck which looked every bit doctored to suit the home spinners. The ball turned sideways. Something must have got up the dander of the Proteas skipper because he and Amla had clearly had a gutsful, and together they plotted not to score runs and to resist everything. In a superb “cat and mouse” display they turned down runs and AB survived 354 minutes (for only 43 runs) in the most testing of conditions. It was TV sport at its best and proved it doesn’t always have to be about big hits to captivate true cricket lovers.
Slow play, for whatever reason, and players like AB with seemingly endless time to execute their strokes seems to bring out the best in sports journalists and commentators. To quote two, from many, by way of example:
He played a cut so late, as to be positively posthumous.
– John Arlott
It’s difficult to be more laid back than David Gower without being actually comatose.
– Frances Edmonds
Potato is the nickname of the next star who played the game in his unique way. He is also the man who broke the hearts of NZ cricket fans when he scored a brilliant 60 (off 37 balls; nothing slow about that) to sink our team from advancing to the finals of the Cricket World Cup in 1992. We refer, of course to the heavyweight former Pakistan captain Inzamam-ul-Haq.
Like Tom Walker, Inzi was not one for quick singles and possessed a relaxed demeanour as he went about his business. It is therefore appropriate to finish with an extract from Geoff Tibballs amusing book on cricket.