This woman’s a bit crazy. I know this because I said yes when John Mitchell asked me to write Commentary Corner. Only a crazy woman would agree to such a thing, exposing herself in such a way in a predominantly male domain. Thanks John for acknowledging all the mothers of sports people and many thanks to The Willows for the support they provide for our young cricketers.
Once you become a mother and your children become sports-keen a world that dictates your life for many years opens. Glorious years. I knew something was up when I noticed my pantyhose legs holding tennis balls hanging in the branches of the fir trees in the tiny garden of our cottage in England way back when our eldest was barely five. It rained every day from January to May in Cheshire that year but this apparatus received a (straight) bat hammering regardless. I was also grateful my father had taught the children to spin their little soft spongy indoor balls, providing lengthy entertainment for which a busy mother was so thankful.
Our children are now in late teens and twenties and for years have played football, hockey and of course cricket. Sport has been a keen focus in our family and we’ve all followed each other watching tournaments, games and events from Invercargill to Whangarei, and also abroad. They continue to play at various levels. Some work harder than others, some have more success but they all love it. They laugh and are happy when they’re playing and they follow each other’s games. The challenging times are many and the good days celebrated knowing they don’t come round frequently. The crazy mother reminds them that any day on the sports field, results aside, is a great day.
Leaving secondary school is a most challenging of times. Research tells us that this is when large numbers are lost from sport. Favourite school coaches and managers bid farewell, team mates spread themselves over club teams and some go to new towns for study etc. Representative coaches are there but they do not have such a close connection. These young people have many decisions to make about many things, not just sport, so this time frame is pretty major and one that requires balanced conversations. It is important for parents and caregivers of achieving high school aged sports people to be warned of this phase and to get ready for it! This is the time when it’s important to consider the idea that talent helps but may not take you as far as ambition. It’s the time for leavers to become more patient, as things do not necessarily happen as fast as they do when at high school. Selections may not be as predictable or as guaranteed and the talents of others can change considerably as many sports people come into their prime in late teens and early twenties while others may lose interest.
As parents this is a time to trust our young people’s decisions. It’s a time to show love no matter what, to give guidance only when asked, to allow as much time as is needed for decisions to be made and remember there really are oodles of years ahead to embark on areas of study and careers. (R.I.P Celia Lashlie – your advice about patience and allowing time is often heeded!). Likewise with sport. Take comfort in knowing that there are instances where school leavers give organised team sport commitments away for a time and do actually come back to their game. There are also those who did not ever make school first elevens but progress to become senior / representative players.
These times can be even more challenging however attempting to combine study or a new career whilst playing sport at a high level. Training sessions can be demanding and the irregular hours not conducive to normal work hours or the fitting in of University courses. Again a deep breath is needed. Some may benefit enormously from a break part-way through a long course of study. However, where possible, to be chipping away at something for life after sport provides a great balance whilst training and playing. Developing a career and gaining qualifications gives certainty whereas sport selections can be fickle, unpredictable, injury affected and at times out of your control.
Financially, there can also be challenges when training competes with work commitments. Again this can be a time where the support of family is still needed.
As mentioned earlier ambition takes you far but the reality can be that on leaving school, selection for top club sides and representative teams is more difficult as the pool of players is greater. It is important to keep in mind that at whatever level you play the opportunity is in your hands and wickets, 5-wicket bags, 50s and 100s are difficult to come by at any level. Keep targets realistic and achievable and hopefully opportunities will come.
A wish for future generations is that amongst all the distractions of techno gadgetry and faster pace living, there will still be a place for pantyhose and tennis balls, the virtue of patience and the wonderful role models at The Willows.